Whatever it is, you were found to be at fault. Or over big things like something going wrong in her life. It could have been over the silliest things like something spilling. She rarely if ever took responsibility for her actions. When things went wrong you or your siblings were blamed. It doesn’t matter who you are, you could be mother Theresa and She’ll let you know she disapproves of you and your choices. She sets these high bars for you to reach and if you do happen to reach them she’ll set the bar even higher. It doesn’t matter what you do, you could be really nice to her or do everything for her and she’ll still let you know it’s not good enough. You should do something back because you want to. You don’t owe anyone anything if they do something. If anyone does something for you, it should be out of genuinely wanting to do it. Or even do it as a way to gain control over you and use it against you so you’ll owe her later. She’ll do it because it makes her look good. You may have heard things like “You don’t deserve all the nice things I’ve done for you!” or ” I do so much for you and you can’t do this for me?” The things she has done for you weren’t always out of the kindness of her heart but a way to keep you around, do what she wants.

The thing that makes her a narcissistic mom is that those nice things were usually used against you and thrown back in your face. So don’t doubt your mom wasn’t narcissistic because she did nice things. They probably did buy you things or maybe took you out or even had given you advice. Narcissistic moms follow that same pattern where they do nice things for you. No one can be that black and white and be awful all the time otherwise the abuser wouldn’t have victims. 2) She Did Things For You But With A CatchĪ lot of times people have this idea that being an abusive person means they don’t do anything nice and they are always awful. You weren’t allowed to have emotions she didn’t approve of. You became a brick wall when it came to your emotions and you would hide your genuine feelings. Or maybe you just felt worse talking to her or sharing something with her.īecause you felt like you couldn’t show your genuine emotions and be vulnerable you protected yourself by always having a poker face on. She may have even used your emotions as a weapon and used your insecurities against you. She may have made fun of you or made you feel guilty for your feelings or made it about herself.

It may have been clear as day why you couldn’t tell your mom things or you just always had this feeling you couldn’t talk to her and you couldn’t quiet put your finger on it. 1) You Felt Like You Could Not Show Your Genuine Emotions To Her

Here are some signs you may have been raised by a narcissistic mother. One thing is for sure and that is children with healthy moms don’t have to deal with the same mistreatment or confusion at home. Narcissistic moms care about how they look or how something makes them feel. They care about their children’s feelings. Healthy moms do things out of love and compassion. Your mom may have said or done things that looked like the right thing but the intention was out of selfishness. But the difference between a healthy mom and a narcissistic mom is that with a narc mom there is always a hidden agenda. Things that look nice or what a healthy mom may do. So because of this they will do nice things like make sure your lunch is made or you have nice clothes or you are in the best classes. Doing anything to make people believe the persona they think they are. Their world revolves around a lot of control and manipulation. There is no genuine love or care, it is mainly about them. Everything with a narcissist is how they look or how others perceive them.

They could be the class mom or the guidance counselor or the leader of a church group. They aren’t the typical angry looking people with a crazy mean face you’d imagine. Narcissistic moms are hard to grow up with but things look much different outside closed doors.

Growing up with a narcissistic mother